WauloK’s BangRocks Blog

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1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

2. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

3. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

4. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

5. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

6. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

7. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

9. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

10. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

11. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

12. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

13. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

14. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.

15. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris’ Delorean to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson’s disease.

16. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral s3x, KFC and Tequila.

17. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn’t was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.

18. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.

19. Crop circles are Chuck Norris’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

20. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.      

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris’ shoe. Chuck replied, "Don’t you know who I am? I’m Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.           
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.                                 
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and  admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.                         
Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT’s, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.                        
Aliens do exist. They’re just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.                                
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his  beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.  
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.                
Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat.   
Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don’t f*ck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile  radius of the blast went deaf.                     
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.               
To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.                         
Chuck Norris can p!ss into gale force winds.              
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of  "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.                    
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris                                 
Chuck Norris found out about Conan O’Brien’s lever that shows clips from  "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan’s wife.                  
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.     
Chuck Norris used to be an All-American baseball player in college. He  was banned however from Major League Baseball when it became known that his blood is actually a steroid.                    
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.                       
Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.                               

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Geez! This sounds all right…

Game Editor is the game design software that gives you the power to create the games of your dreams, with little or no programming or technical knowledge required.

Game Editor lets you design and develop 2D games for personal computers and mobile devices. No need to worry about system issues or compatibility, no need to do anything other than come up with the ideas! Game developing has never been easier!

Game Editor is designed to be portable across all popular platforms, including Windows (95, 98, Me, NT, 2000, 2003, XP), Linux, Pocket PC and Windows Mobile-based Smartphones.

Purchase Game Editor and receive the following:

• Game Editor Professional for Windows
• A permanent license (no additional licensing fees are required)
• The opportunity to create and sell games without restrictions  
• The chance to market games created with Game Editor in the Buy Games
   section of the Game Editor website.
• The ability to create and sell games for Windows (95/98/Me/2000/2003/XP),
   Pocket PC / Windows Mobile 2003, 2005, Windows Mobile-based Smartphones and Linux!
• Technical support

Package Options and Pricing:

Package Choices	Number of New Full Version Updates	Price (USD)
Basic Package	Purchase the current FULL version.      No Version Updates.	$14.95
Silver  Package	6 months of free FULL Version Updates.	$54.95
Gold  Package	1 year of free FULL Version Updates.	$94.95

Go check it out on their website! This is amazing! This is something I’ve been looking for. A decent game editor at an affordable price. I’d be very tempted to go for the Silver or Gold package. You even get a 30 day trial to see if you like it. I’m always getting ideas for games, but it’s soooo time consuming coming up with all the programming in C or whichever language you want. I’d prefer to have simple tools to let me do it and concentrate on getting my game out there rather than worrying about creating memory handles, playing sound the right way and all that nitty gritty that’s involved in creating games or other programs. I just want to get it done!

Don’t think it’s the same company selling it but you can buy a "Nuclear Globe" to roll around the beach or home in.. it looks a hell of a lot like a Zorb:

You have to look at the Zorb website as they won’t let me post pics.. but it’s the same thing.

I gotta get my friends out and do this some time this coming Summer. It’d be fucken awesome!

We didn’t end up going to the kiddy place after all. There was a thunderstorm around most of the day, so we stayed home and rested.

Today I’m having the day off. I have a bit of gastro and have not been feeling well so I’m just resting up. I had to go to the doctor even though I think this is a 24 hour thing as my manager now requires me to produce a certificate even if I only have one day off. It turns out with this company, they advertise ‘unlimited sick days’ but don’t dare take off more than 10 in a year or they start whinging. During winter, I had a week off so that’s put out my record and with a few other days off during this year due to being genuinely sick I’m over their limit.

http://media.putfile.com/MysonisaHeterohostingual16

Chex it. U know u want 2.

Spose I best write something or youse will all goes away.

Not much happening at work lately. All projects are on hold for the time being until after Xmas and new years. Probably won’t pick up again until February, hence I’m sitting at work doing nothing but twiddling my thumbs all day. You see, we have a queue of jobs and when a job comes in we do it, if no jobs come in we cannot do any extra work as it won’t be billable to the client. Ah - the joys of being an outsourcing company. So I can’t just go off and tune things or check things are ay okay and fix any tiny problems as my company cannot make money since the job wasn’t logged in the queue. So we aren’t allowed to do any extraneous work. So we sit and twiddle. Thank God for da intarweb. If only that were mildly interesting.

One thing I came across on the digg site is http://www.slashdigg.com/ - it summarises the DIGG and Slashdot website feeds into one easy to read and pleasant looking page. Very nice. I use it all the time now. I don’t care how many times an article was ‘dugg’. If it’s there, I just want to read it.

I was going to meet up with some friends while in Brizzy last Monday but they didn’t take their mobile phone to work so didn’t get my messages until that afternoon when I was already on my way home.

Some lucky guy won Douglas Adams’ Apple on eBay. Lucky SOB.

Swimming day again, then it’s off to Brizzy to drop off Bec for a test for getting into her nursing course next year. She had only just been accepted to a course in Sydney when Sienna decided to gestate, so had to cancel. Now that Sienna is older and can go to daycare next year and Blake will be taken care of in Sydney, she has the chance to resume her beginning of studies. Good luck. Should be more fun than being stuck at home all day.

Blake will be going back to Sydney at the start of January. He will be staying with his father and his father’s gf. They are out somewhere near Penrith. He will have more of a one-on-one class there and has many more friends and family to visit. Up here he just has school and living with us and nobody to visit or stay with on weekends and holidays, so it’s very restricting for him. Down there he has a bigger support group so things should be much better for him. We have just finished going through solicitors and JP’s to get the paperwork signed and the papers are soon going to wing their way to the Family Court.

Finally, Mandrivalinux 2006 has been released and I will be able to download it to install on my Media PC/Server. I want to merge both PCs into one faster PC so I don’t have two computers going all day. Should help cut down on electricity too. I have an Athlon 1600+ with 0.5Gb RAM to run it on which should be way enough. I might even try MythTv on it. At least this machine will be able to easily play DivX and XviD movies. The Celeron 433 just can’t cope at all. Poor thing.

At one of the places where I work they have an advertisement for staff to take their kids to a place in Surfers Paradise called "AbraKIDazzle" which is a place where kids play, running through plastic tunnels and climbing up high. I might take the kids there tomorrow. They need somewhere to go crazy and the place serves coffee so I will be set. I will take my PocketPC and do some beta testing of some new games Astraware is currently making.

Shrine of memories

St Andrews Cathedral

Okay lets try posting multiple pictures and see if I get it right.

The first picture should be of an office block in Brisbane. I took the
photo while on about level 6 in a building nearby in the server room.

The next photo should be of the Toscani’s cafe in Helensvale. We went
shopping this morning and got to the Westfield shopping centre just
after 8am to find out the shopping centre doesn’t open until 9am. We
went to Toscani’s cafe and had breakfast. I had a Big Breakfast which I
shared with Sienna. Blake had ham and cheese on toast and Bec had
cinnamon toast. The kids had orange juice, I had a mocha and Bec had a
flat white.

The third photo should be the kids sitting in a Batmobile. Sienna
thought it was good for one minute then started crying, so she hopped
out and Blake stayed in it by himself until the ride ended:

This week I was sent an invitation to a party for a friend at work. It was a fun party. I met some new people, had some beers and a good chat. We watched a very strange but hilarious movie called Kung Fu Hustle. Damn, it’s weird as hell but funny.. so strangely funny. You have to see it to understand. I gotta get myself a copy of it.

I took Sienna swimming today. She had a fantastic time as always and can almost climb out of the pool without any assistance.

I grabbed some Red Rooster chicken, chips and stuff for lunch. Sienna had some chicken nuggets and chips and orange juice. Blake had chicken strips and chips and lemonade. I had quarter chicken and chips and diet coke. Bec had quarter chicken, potatoes, peas, gravy and diet coke. Everyone was happy. I also got four chocolate mousses which everyone gobbled up fast.

I brought the food home and asked Sienna if she wanted chicken and chips. She saw the mousse and ran inside yelling to Blake "BAKE!! CHOCKIT BAKE!! CHOCKIT!!!" hehe.

The kids are in Sienna’s bedroom playing at the moment.

Everyone is going Sudoku crazy lately, so here’s my contribution. Enjoy yourself!

Add it to your own website if you like. Might bring in the odd one or two other blog viewers. Can’t be bad can it

Wow this is a cool plugin!

Download EvilLyrics: http://www.evillabs.sk/evillyrics/

Install it on your PC and start up Winamp/Windows MediaPlayer/whichever you have which is supported.

Start up your music player and watch it find the lyrics and display them for you!

Woooo how cool is that

EvilLyrics For Teh Winz!

A tree near a train station

Originally uploaded by WauloK.

Here’s a tree near the train station where we had to evacuate our train due to a bomb threat by terrorists on the Brisbane network. I caught an early train home but it was running late and so stopped a few stations before my own. We are currently sitting on the grass in the station car park.

Farm view from train station

Originally uploaded by WauloK.

There’s not many stations in Sydney which have a view of a farm to look at while waiting for a train.

Someone tell me why it is we have a cat. He doesn’t seem to do much and doesn’t sit on our lap happily purring away.

This morning (yet again) he starts rubbing against my bedroom door at 3:40am as he’s bored and wants to be let in. Unfortunately, if I let him sleep in the bedroom he jumps on the bed or does something else to wake me up. Now instead, I leave him outside and he starts meowing as loud as he can and banging the door to wake me up.

I get out of bed to look for him and he runs up the other end of the house to get away, so I crawl back in bed and desperately try to get to sleep again. Five minutes later "MEEEOOOWWW" bang bang. I get up again and he runs off and hides behind the TV cabinet. I can just reach him and pick him up and put him outside.

Now I can’t get back to sleep. I lie there for a while and suddenly I’m coughing. I eventually give up and decide to come out to the lounge so Sienna may sleep and not be disturbed by my coughing. Three minutes or less later, she comes out looking for me. I lie her down on the couch and sit next to her and eventually she goes back to sleep.

I give up and make a coffee and decide to sync my phone’s AvantGo data with my PC. Only my PC decides 1. it doesn’t have a mouse (Evoluent mouse drivers are CRAP! Randomly, the PC doesn’t recognise the mouse at all. If you delete the yellow ‘?’ in the Device Manager and refresh, it detects an HID and then you have to manually update the driver to the Evoluent one again. Happens too much). 2. It can’t connect via bluetooth to my phone. Unpairing, re-pairing, etc does nothing at all. Deleting and re-finding each other does nothing. It’s just going to be a bitch to me today. *Sigh* and I need the AvantGo data sync’ed so I can read news and stuff on my long train trip to Brisbane.